I'm mad
by amberissmiling
Summary: Is two months REALLY too long to wait for the man you think is the love of your life? Finn doesn't think so, but Rachel's made her choice. He can make choices of his own, though.
1. Chapter 1

Finn looked down at her, narrowing his eyes. "Let me guess," he said, his voice deceptively soft. "You two sing together."

"Finn," Rachel said, reaching for him.

Finn stepped back, not letting her touch him. "Looks like you've got everything you need," he told her. He looked over at the other guy standing in Rachel's living room. "You can have her."

"Finn," Rachel said again, rushing after him as he stalked off.

"Don't touch me, Rachel," he said, throwing open the stairway door so hard that it hit the wall. "I mean it."

"Finn, stop!" Rachel yelled. He kept moving down the stairs. "You haven't called me in two months!" she said, following him.

"I've been in basic fucking training, Rachel!" he yelled over his shoulder.

"You could have called!"

"Yeah?" he said, finally stopping and turning to look at her. "Why? So I could hear your voice and remember how alone I was? So you could hear mine and remember that you had a fucking fiancé? I didn't think you'd need a reminder. It's been two fucking months!"

Rachel flinched as if he'd hit her. "Finn, I've felt so alone…"

Finn snorted, turning. "Yeah, it looks that way."

"Brody is just someone from school," Rachel told him.

"Just don't, Rachel," he told her. "It's done."

"If you would just give me a minute," she said.

Finn stopped, turning around again. "A minute? Rachel, I was going to give you my life!" he shouted hoarsely. "What an idiot, huh?" He walked closer to her, causing her to back up. She'd never seen him so angry. "He your new duet partner, Rach?"

"He's just helped me with a couple of songs…"

Finn nodded. "That's all it takes, though, right?"

Rachel straightened. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Think about it, Rachel," Finn said. "We sang together, you fell for me. You sang with Puck, you fell for him. Same with Jesse, Blaine- hell, even Mr. Schue. And now this clown." Rachel just stared at him, her mouth open. Finn leaned in close. "I thought that we were something special, Rachel," he said. "But I know now that I was wrong. I'm just the only one stupid enough to stick around and put up with your shit."

Rachel slapped him before even realizing what she was doing. Tears ran down her face as she looked into his cold eyes. "How can you say that?"

"How can I say that? You're the one up in your apartment getting ready to fuck some dude you've only known for what…a month? Two?" Finn shook his head. "You made it pretty fucking easy." He pulled his bag strap up on his shoulder. "If I had one woman hit on me in Georgia, I had twenty. But I always just smiled and told them I was engaged." His smile now was brittle. "Guess I won't have to worry about it anymore."

"Finn, I-"

"Goodbye, Rachel," he said, turning again and walking down the steps. This time she didn't follow him. She slowly sank down onto a step, putting her face in her hands and crying. What had she done?


	2. Chapter 2

"I figured I would find you in a place like this," Quinn said, sliding onto the barstool next to Finn. He looked over at her, drinking another shot and not saying anything. "How can you drink?" Quinn asked. "You're not old enough."

Finn shrugged, motioning for the bartender to pour him another. "What do you want, Quinn?" he finally asked, his voice rough.

"Rachel's called in all the troops," Quinn told him, nodding to the bartender. The man sat a shot in front of her, then walked off.

"I figured she'd have just gone back to sleeping with some dude she barely knows," he said bitterly, downing the drink.

"No," Quinn said, drinking her own shot. She gasped, grabbing Finn's arm. "Holy crap, that's awful."

Finn nodded. "After a few you won't notice."

Quinn eyed the shot glass. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Finn shrugged again, calling for another shot. "I'll ask you again," he said while watching the bartender pour. "What do you want, Quinn?"

"I just wanted to make sure you hadn't thrown yourself off a bridge or something," she said, studying him.

Finn snorted, looking at her. His crooked smile didn't reach his eyes. "I'm pissed off," he said. "Not suicidal."

"Good to know," she told him, taking down another shot. "Damn," she said, wincing again. "You lied."

"You just haven't had enough," he told her.

"I thought you were in boot camp?"

"Boot camp doesn't last forever," he told her. He nodded down at his leg. "Some dumbass shot me in the leg."

Quinn's eyes widened and she looked down. "Are you okay?" He nodded. "Who did it?"

Finn laughed. "I did."

Quinn's eyes flew to his. "You shot yourself?"

He grinned. "You can't be too surprised. You know how clumsy I am better than anyone."

"Did you mean to?"

Finn shook his head, his smile fading. "No, it was an accident."

"So you're out for good?"

He shook his head again. "Just for a few weeks, until it heals completely."

"And you came to surprise Rachel."

Finn nodded, his mouth thinning into a straight line. "I was the one surprised, though." He frowned down at Quinn. "How long has she been seeing this new guy?"

Quinn shrugged. "She's only talked about him a couple of times. He seems like a tool."

"You two still friends?" he asked. "You and Rach, I mean."

Quinn nodded, frowning slightly. "We've never been very close, but we care about each other."

"That's weird as hell," Finn said, drinking again.

Quinn nodded, taking another shot. "That one wasn't that bad," she said as the warmth of the drink spread through her.

"Told you."

"I hated Rachel for a long time," Quinn told him, going back to the previous subject.

"I know."

"I wanted you to love me. I couldn't understand why you loved her instead." Quinn stared down at the glass, surprised at herself.

"I loved you," he told her. "But you were a crazy bitch, Quinn, and you drove me nuts."

Quinn laughed loudly at his words, covering her mouth with her hand. "That was rude," she told him, still giggling.

Finn laughed too. "True, though." He watched her. "You seem mellower."

Quinn nodded. "We're out of Lima. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not."

"You never had to pretend with me," Finn told her. "I didn't care about any of it, even then."

Quinn smiled at him. "I cared too much," she told him. "I let it ruin everything."

Finn squinted at his glass, seeing two of them. "Caring sucks," he told her after a moment. "Just ends in pain."

Quinn sighed. "I know," she told him. "You know, I hate to say it…but…"

"Don't you dare," Finn growled. "Say I told you so and I'll make you pay for the drinks."

"She does love you," Quinn told him. "Both you're both so young…"

"Yeah, it looked like she loved me," Finn said, nodding. "I should have kicked that dude's ass."

"Right after having been shot in the leg?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow.

Finn grinned at her. "I should have kicked a chair, at least."

Quinn laughed. She looked at him, smiling. "I've laughed more sitting in this dingy bar with you than I have since I got here," she told him.

"Really? Do you not like it up here?"

"Do you care?"

Finn thought about it. "Yeah," he said. "I guess I actually do."

"What a tone of surprise," she said, shaking her head. She motioned for another shot. "I like it. My classes are easy and I've made some friends. I just feel like something's missing."

"Like what?"

"I don't really know," Quinn said, making a face. "I think I've felt this way since the night Beth was born."

"That's heavy stuff," Finn told her. "It would have to fuck you up."

Quinn nodded. "It did."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," he told her.

Quinn looked at him. "I should have never lied to you about the baby. I don't think I've ever even told you how sorry I am about that."

"I knew you were," he said. He watched her for a minute. "We're both pretty fucked up, huh?"

Quinn smiled, nodding. She grabbed his arm again as she almost fell off the stool. "And now we're both drunk. Way to go, Hudson."

"I think that, for tonight anyway, it's much better to be drunk," he told her.

"Hell yes," Quinn said. "Let's have another."


	3. Chapter 3

Finn woke up with his arm wrapped around her, her body pressed against his. For a moment he laid there, relaxed, rubbing his thumb along her arm. Waking fully, he sat straight up, staring down at Quinn. "Oh fuck," he said, looking down to see that they were both naked. A sharp pain stabbed through his head and he grabbed it with both hands. "Oh FUCK," he said.

Quinn rolled over on her back, stretching. "Mmm," she breathed, her eyes closed. They flew open after a moment and she stared at Finn. "Oh shit," she said, sitting up and pulling the blanket around her. Looking down at her nakedness, she moaned. "Oh shit!"

They sat on the bed, staring at each other, for a few minutes. "Quinn," he started.

"Maybe nothing happened," Quinn said. "Do you remember?"

Finn shook his head. "You're right. Maybe we just slept together without anything happening."

Quinn moved a little, feeling soreness between her legs. "Finn," she said, moaning again. "Something happened."

"Look, stop moaning and making those noises, okay?" he said, rubbing his face.

Quinn blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. Her hand flew up to her mouth. "Oh no…did we use protection?"

Finn looked wildly around the bed, lifting the blanket and sheets and searching the floor. "Fuck," he said again, groaning.

"Oh no," Quinn whispered. "Oh no, Finn, this is bad."

"Where the hell are we?" Finn asked, looking around the room. He could tell it was a cheap hotel room, but it wasn't one he recognized.

"I have no idea," Quinn said, barely stopping herself from moaning again. She dropped back onto the bed. "What have we done?"

Finn looked at her. "This is my fault, Quinn. I got you drunk; I must have taken advantage of you…"

Quinn stopped him, shaking her head. "I got me drunk, Finn. I knew what I was doing. You were heartbroken. I took advantage of you."

Finn's phone rang somewhere on the ground. He reached over and grabbed his pants, searching the pockets until he found it. "It's Rachel," he said grimly, hitting the ignore button.

"She can never know about this," Quinn told him. "We can never tell her."

Before Finn could say anything, someone knocked on the door. They looked at each other, Finn shrugging and Quinn shaking her head. They remained quiet, neither wanting to find out who was on the other side. When the knocking stopped they relaxed briefly before the door was thrown open.

Kurt came into the room, key card in hand, staring at them in shock. "What the hell is this?" he asked shrilly, letting the door shut behind him.

"It's just…" Quinn started.

"We just…" Finn stopped talking and looked at Quinn, then at Kurt. "We don't really know."

Kurt glared at them. "I've been out looking for you all night," he told Finn coldly. "Rachel has been worried sick."

Finn glared back at his brother. "Yeah, I bet she has. Good thing she had that douchebag to comfort her."

Kurt crossed his arms. "Rachel spent some time with another guy so you slept with Quinn?"

Quinn pulled the blanket over her head. Finn tugged it down. "Don't," he said. "You have nothing to be ashamed of." He looked at Kurt. "I'm obviously not Rachel's boyfriend anymore. What Quinn and I do is none of her business, and it certainly isn't any of yours," he said coldly.

"Finn, what are you doing?" Kurt asked him desperately. "How could you do this?"

"Give us a few minutes," Finn told him. "I'll let you back in."

Kurt stared at him for a moment before nodding slightly and leaving the room. Finn looked at Quinn, who appeared to be on the verge of tears. "Hey," he said, pulling her up and wrapping his arms around her. "Don't worry about it. We're old friends that took comfort from each other, okay? None of this is your fault."

"Did you see the way Kurt was looking at me?" Quinn whispered against his chest.

"Kurt's a judgmental asshole," Finn told her. "He always has been."

Quinn nodded, pulling away from him. "We need to get dressed."

While she was in the bathroom, Finn pulled his jeans on and checked his phone. He had 34 missed calls. He wasn't going to return them now. He looked up when Quinn walked out of the bathroom, smiling weakly. Without thinking about it, he walked over to her and gathered her into his arms, planting a light kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry," he told her. "You don't deserve any of this."

Quinn nodded, her smile a little stronger. "Thank you."

Finn went to the door, letting Kurt in. "How'd you find me?" he asked his brother.

"I checked every hotel in the freaking city," Kurt told him. "I finally found one with you in it."

Finn pulled on his shirt, looking at the other man. "You can stop judging us now."

Kurt sighed, looking at Quinn and then back at Finn. "Look, Rachel's my best friend," he told them.

"And I'm your brother," Finn reminded him, sitting on the bed and pulling his boots on. "Where's your anger for Rachel? She was making out with some other dude in your apartment."

"Oh, believe me, we've discussed it," Kurt said, his lips tightening at the reminder of that argument. He looked at Quinn. "So what now?"

"Now I go back to school," Quinn said. "And Finn and Rachel talk."

"So you're not going to talk to Rachel?"

Quinn shrugged. "If Finn wants me to," she said, looking over at him.

Finn shook his head. "I'll talk to Rachel."

"Are you going to tell her about this?"

Finn locked eyes with Quinn for a moment. "Quinn doesn't want me to," he said softly. "But I think I need to." He frowned questioningly at her. After a moment, Quinn nodded. Finn looked at Kurt. "I'll tell her."

Kurt sighed with relief. "I'm going to steer clear of the apartment for the day," he told Finn, moving to the door. "Call me if you need me." He opened the door. "And Finn…it's good to see you. I've missed you." Finn smiled, nodding. Kurt looked at Quinn. "It's good to see you too, Quinn. Even under these circumstances." With that, he left.

Quinn turned to Finn. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

Finn shook his head. "No, this is something I need to do myself."

Quinn stood. "Call me, okay? Let me know what happens." She stepped closer to him. "I don't want to lose two friends."

Finn smiled down at her. "You'll have me, anyway."

Quinn smiled. "At least there's that."

After she left, Finn stood staring at the door. What the hell was he going to say to Rachel?


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel opened the door, stepping aside to let him in. Finn walked into the room, looking around. This was a huge space; Rachel and Kurt would be happy here. "I called you," Rachel said, walking to the kitchen island and sitting on a barstool.

Finn followed her, sitting on the stool across from hers. "This is a nice place," he said.

Rachel nodded. "I called you," she said again.

"Yeah," Finn said. "I know."

"Where were you?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Finn, I don't want you to be mad at me," she told him.

He chuckled without humor. "Maybe you shouldn't have had that other dude in your apartment."

Rachel frowned. "You've been gone for two months," she said. "I haven't heard from you in that long."

"Two months isn't really a long time, Rachel."

"It felt like it," she told him. "When I moved here…it was awful. I had no friends, no family…my teacher hated me, and I was in constant fear of getting kicked out of school…"

Finn just watched her. "Okay?"

"Look, I was miserable, okay?"

"I'm sorry about that," he told her. "I thought you'd be happy here. I told you I was going to give you some time. I was in basic training," he said, emphasizing his words. "It wasn't exactly a picnic." Rachel started to say something and he cut her off. "But you knew exactly where I was and what I was doing. You knew that I'd said I was going to give you space. You knew all of that, and you chose to start dating. That's fine, Rachel. I see where I stand and I won't get in your way."

Rachel stared at him, shocked. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I think I'm worth more than two months. I'm saying that I thought what we had was worth more. I don't need to hear your "poor pitiful me" stories, because they don't make a difference." He raised his eyebrows, looking at her. "You said you loved me. You said you'd love me forever. Apparently Quinn was right; you didn't have any idea what you were talking about."

"That's not fair, Finn."

"What you did wasn't fair," he told her.

"Why are you acting this way?"

"How am I acting?"

"Cold," she said, her voice thick with tears. "Like I don't mean anything to you."

"I'm fucking pissed, Rachel," he told her, narrowing his eyes.

"It was just a kiss," Rachel told Finn. "One kiss."

Finn stood up, not wanting to hear it. "It would have been a lot more if I hadn't knocked, wouldn't it?" Rachel didn't say anything. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway," he told her. He looked out the window. "I went out last night, got drunk. Figured I might as well, there was no reason to stay sober, right?" Rachel just looked at him. "Ran into an old friend, got to talking…ended up spending the night with her." Rachel gasped. He watched as tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry, Rach," he told her. "I really am. I never meant to hurt you, and it wasn't planned." He shrugged. "But if you can move on in two months and I can move on in two months, I guess we were both wrong about how we felt."

He turned to walk out, stopping as a plate flew by his hand. "You asshole!" she screamed. She threw another plate, this one almost hitting him. "It was Quinn, wasn't it? You slept with Quinn."

Finn turned around, grabbing her hands before she hit him. "Stop, Rachel!" he said as they struggled. "Just let it go."

Tears ran freely down her face as she stared up at him. "I hate you," she said. "I hate you so much."

Finn nodded, letting go of her hands. She dropped down into the chair beside them, putting her face into her hands and crying. "I really am sorry," he said. He meant it. No matter how much Rachel had hurt him, he had never meant to hurt her. "We didn't mean for it to happen. We just drank too much…"

"Just leave," Rachel said, not looking up. "Just get out of here."

Finn nodded, walking to the door. "Tell Brody I said hi," he said, pulling it shut behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Rachel has locked herself in her room and is still crying," Kurt said over the phone.

Finn was wondering around New York City, taking in the sights. "Yeah, it didn't go very well."

"I take it you told her about you and Quinn."

"I said I would."

Kurt sighed. "How long are you in town?"

"I'll be here for the next couple of weeks, then I have to go back."

"I want to spend some time with you before you go. Show you where I work, my favorite place to shop, get coffee..."

"Even now?"

"Yes, you big dummy, even now. You're still my brother."

Finn grinned, winking at a girl walking by. She smiled back at him as she passed, blushing a little. "I think I like New York."

"Everyone likes New York," Kurt said. "Wait a minute…never mind."

"What?"

"I thought Rachel was coming out of her room but it was a false alarm." He made a noise. "I hate for her to be hurting like this. You've broken her heart."

"She'd already moved on," Finn told his brother. "I was just catching up."

"Finn, this isn't like you. You're not a cold person."

"I've never been this pissed off," he told his brother. "You have no idea."

Kurt must have heard the change in his voice because he moved on. "Blaine is actually coming up tomorrow."

"Hey, that's awesome," Finn said. "It'll be good to see him."

"I know, I'm so excited!" Kurt said, practically gushing. "Are you going to see Quinn again?"

"We didn't talk about it," Finn told him. "I'll probably call her later, see if she's okay." He walked into his hotel. "And you can stop judging her, okay? None of this was her fault. We got drunk, we slept together. Hell, we didn't even remember it."

Kurt gasped. "Did you use protection?"

Finn grimaced, though Kurt couldn't see it. "No."

"Finn!" Kurt cried out. "Of all the idiotic, moronic, STUPID things…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Finn said. "Hey, I'm at my room. Give me a call later and we'll go grab something to eat."

"Okay. I may need to stay with Rachel, if she'll ever come out of her room. I'll let you know."

"Sounds good," he said, opening his room door and flopping on the bed. "Hey, Kurt."

"Yes?"

"Love you, brother."

"Love you too," Kurt said, hanging up.

Finn didn't envy him the task that lay before him; Rachel could be difficult at the best of times. Right now she'd be horrible.

He stared at the ceiling and thought about her. His anger still blocked out every other feeling; it was all he had. When she'd tried to explain, he was angry. When she'd gotten upset, he was angry. When she'd cried, he was angry. Angry was all he felt, and he couldn't seem to stop feeling it. He wanted to get over it. He wanted to feel something else, anything else…but he couldn't.

He thought about Quinn. They had definitely made a mistake, but he'd been right in what he'd told her. They were friends that sought comfort in each other. His feelings for her weren't any deeper than that, and he was pretty sure she didn't feel any more for him.

Deciding that he'd done enough damage for the moment, he rolled over and closed his eyes. Everything would look better after a nap.


	6. Chapter 6

"So Kurt's with Rachel?" Quinn asked as they walked down the sidewalk.

"Yeah, he said he couldn't leave her tonight," Finn said.

"I feel so terrible," Quinn said, frowning. "I keep thinking I should call her, but that would only make it worse."

Finn shrugged. "Can anything make it worse?" he asked.

Quinn laughed lightly. "Well, when you put it like that…" She sighed, sitting on the bench beside them and watching the other people mill about. "I didn't want to be this person anymore," she told Finn as he sat beside her. "I thought I'd turned over a new leaf."

"Rachel and I weren't dating," Finn told her. "Rachel had moved on."

"Yeah, but it's not right that I slept with her ex fiancé."

"I was your ex fiancé first," Finn reminded her.

Quinn looked at him, shocked. "You know what? You're right."

He grinned. "I'm always right."

Quinn rolled her eyes, sitting back against the bench. "So how long are you going to be in the Army?"

Finn blew out a breath. "I signed up for two years, but I may just stay in. Not a lot going on for me in the civilian world."

"You can't just stay in forever," she said, looking at him.

"I could. I don't know that I want to, but I could."

"Don't you think there's any hope of you and Rachel working it out?"

Finn didn't answer right away. "I don't know if I want it to," he said again. "Whether she thought we were together or not, I did. And this is the second time she's done this to me." He looked at her. "You've been up here the same amount of time Rachel has, right?" Quinn nodded. "How many guys have you made out with?"

Quinn laughed. "None. Well…you, I guess?"

Finn grinned. "Besides me, none, right? And you didn't even have a fiancé." He shook his head. "It's like she falls for any dude that sings with her." At Quinn's look he made a face. "I mean it! Just look at the facts."

"She's just passionate about her music," Quinn said.

Finn made a noise. "If that's what you want to call it," he said. "But how could I ever trust her, Quinn? If she falls for every dude she sings with and makes a life out of being on stage, how could I ever be comfortable with that?"

Quinn nodded, thinking about it. "I see what you're saying," she said. She looked at him. "I'm sorry, Finn."

"Don't be," he told her. "It's definitely not your fault."

"It still sucks, though."

"You're right about that." They sat in a companionable silence for a while. "I always feel like I'm not good enough for her, you know? There's always someone somewhere saying that she can do better. Maybe this Brody douche is better."

"No way is Brody better." She sighed. "I never really liked the idea of you two together, though."

"Why?"

"I don't know. When I'd talk to Rachel and she'd tell me about your plans, it sounded so idiotic. Getting married this young? You have no idea what your life is going to be like. And she was going to give everything up just like that?" Quinn shook her head. "That's so dumb."

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence."

"What if you'd just stayed in Lima? Rachel would have stayed too. You did the right thing by putting her on that train." She looked up at him. "I thought that you and I would stay in Lima forever; get married, have kids…we'd have it all. But then I realized that I didn't have to stay in Lima. And neither did you. We both got out, Finn."

Finn watched her. "Do you think you'll go back?"

Quinn nodded. "I think I will…eventually. I don't know about you and Rachel, though. I think you two may stay here, work things out."

"I don't know what I'm going to do," he told her truthfully. "Everything that I thought was going to happen has blown up in my face. I'm just lost."

"You'll figure it out," she told him. "I have faith in you."

Finn looked at her, smiling. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Quinn smiled too. "I've told you I loved you."

Finn nodded. "But I didn't believe you."

"That's your problem, Finn," she said, touching his leg. "You miss the forest for the trees."

Not sure how to respond, Finn took her hand and held it. They sat together, watching the people moving around them, each lost in their own thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

Since Rachel had to go to school, Kurt had been able to spend the day with Finn. They'd had a good time, though they avoided the apartment completely just in case. They'd spent the last half hour at the airport, waiting for Blaine.

Finn knew the moment Blaine walked into the terminal because of the way Kurt's face lit up. He watched as his brother ran towards the other man, hugging him tightly. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. That must feel good.

"Finn!" Blaine said, hugging him when he got close enough. "I didn't expect to see you!"

"Yeah, neither did Rachel," Finn said, hugging him back.

Blaine looked at him and Kurt. "What happened?"

They spent their time in the cab discussing Rachel and everything going on with the New Directions. "Congratulations on winning president," Finn told him. "I'm surprised Kurt hasn't planned a ball."

"Yeah," Blaine said, looking out the window. Kurt had started talking about something else, but Finn noticed Blaine's hurt expression. He made a mental note to talk to Blaine about it later.

When they got to the apartment building, Finn got out and hugged both men. "So dinner tonight, right?" Finn asked Kurt as Blaine grabbed his bags.

"Yes," Kurt told him. "I'll just tell Rachel that Blaine and I want to be alone for a while."

"Don't you and Blaine want to be alone for a while?" Finn asked him. "We can just go out tomorrow."

Kurt eyed Blaine for a moment. "How about I call you?"

"Okay," Finn said, watching them link hands and walk into the apartment building. Turning around, he started to get into the cab when he noticed Brody walking towards the apartment building. Clenching his jaw, he straightened. "Give me a minute," he told the cabbie.

"Hey man, it's your money," the cabbie said.

"Hey!" Finn called out to the other man, stopping him. He walked closer, his hands turning into fists at his side. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I came to see Rachel, tell her how sorry I am," Brody said, looking up at Finn.

"You coming to see Rachel is kind of the problem, don't you think?"

"Look, man…"

"Did you know she had a boyfriend?" Finn asked him, stepping a little closer.

Brody straightened his shoulders. "Yes."

"So she told you she had a boyfriend and that didn't make any difference to either of you?"

"She's been having a rough time," Brody started.

"I've been in fucking basic training!" Finn yelled, moving closer still. "You make a habit of going after girls with boyfriends?"

"If I see something I like, I go after it," Brody said, shrugging. "Nothing personal."

His fist connected with Brody's face and the man was on the ground before Finn even realized what had happened. He looked down as Brody pulled himself into a sitting position. "Stay the hell away from her," Finn said through his teeth. He walked back towards the cab and got in, not looking back. Fuck that dude.


	8. Chapter 8

"So you decided you wanted company after all," Finn said to Kurt, sliding into the booth across from him. "Where's Blaine?"

"He's in the restroom," Kurt told him. "Finn…I'm worried about him."

"Why?" Finn asked, telling the waiter to bring him a coke.

"He just seems…different. Sad?"

Finn studied Kurt from across the table. Kurt was really upset. "Has he said anything?"

Kurt shook his head. "Not really. Will you talk to him?"

Finn nodded as Blaine joined them. "Wow," Blaine said, sliding in beside Kurt. "Even going out to eat is different in New York City."

Finn had been too preoccupied to notice, but now that he looked around he saw what Blaine meant. There was a different feel to NYC. "We're not in Lima anymore, Toto."

Blaine nodded. "So," he said to Finn, taking a drink, "I think you broke Brody's nose."

Finn watched his friend. "Did you see Brody?"

Kurt nodded. "Of course he had to come up to the apartment to "get cleaned up,"" Kurt told Finn, rolling his eyes. "He just wanted Rachel to know that you'd hit him, honestly."

Finn couldn't help but grin. "He had to get cleaned up?"

"Well you busted his nose," Blaine said. He smiled a little. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Good," Finn said.

"Rachel asked him to leave," Blaine told Finn. "In case you were wondering."

Finn shrugged. "Not really."

"Okay," Kurt said, putting his drink down. "That is enough! What is wrong with you, Finn? You're acting like you don't care about Rachel at all, sleeping with Quinn…"

"Wait," Blaine said, shaking his head. "You're sleeping with Quinn?"

"One time," Finn said, narrowing his eyes at Kurt. "We got drunk…it just sort of happened."

"No wonder Rachel seems so miserable," Blaine said, frowning.

The waiter came and took their order. After he'd left, Finn sighed. "I didn't do it to hurt Rachel. I didn't mean to do it at all."

"Sometimes we hurt the ones we love without meaning to," Blaine said, looking down at his drink.

Kurt's eyes widened at he looked pointedly at Finn. Finn nodded. Something was wrong with Blaine. "Think she's going to be okay?" Finn asked them, bringing the subject back to Rachel.

"Yes," Kurt said. "Eventually. But I don't get it, Finn. I don't understand what you're doing."

"I'm 19 years old, Kurt. It's recently become very clear to me that I have no idea what's going on with my life. I don't know what I'm feeling or have a clue what I'm doing." He sighed, shrugging. "I made a mistake. I hurt Rachel. Rachel hurt me. I'll go back to the Army, she'll go back to dancing with other guys and that'll be that."

"So…you're just going to let her go? You're not even going to try to fight for her?"

"What would be the point?" Finn said, nodding to the waiter as he brought his food. "We've pretty much screwed up any hope of this thing working out."

"I just can't imagine letting something like that go," Kurt said, taking Blaine's hand. "You two love each other."

Finn laughed lowly. "Yeah, it looks that way."

The conversation turned to simpler things throughout their meal. Finn had forgotten how much he loved being around the couple; they made him laugh, and it wasn't the self-conscious laugh of someone that didn't really fit in- they were his family. It did become increasingly obvious that something was bothering Blaine, though.

After they'd eaten, it was Kurt's turn to excuse himself and go to the restroom. Finn watched Blaine, wondering if he should even say anything. "You can go ahead and ask me," Blaine said, looking up at him. "I know what you're thinking."

Finn nodded. "Fair enough. What's wrong?"

Blaine shrugged. "I feel like he's slipping away from me," he said. "He's got such a great life going on up here…I just don't know how I fit."

Finn blew out a breath. "I know exactly how you feel," he told his friend. "At least there's not anyone else."

"Yet," Blaine said, seeming to deflate.

"There won't be," Finn told him. "Kurt is still crazy about you. How can you not see that?"

"I just wonder…if maybe we shouldn't just put things on hold, you know? Just until I can move up here and be with him."

Finn saw that Kurt was making his way back to the table. "Whatever you do, make sure you do it together. Tell him how you feel."

Blaine nodded, smiling as Kurt sat back down. "Now," Kurt said, "dessert?"

Finn shook his head. Talking to Blaine had opened his eyes. He reached into his wallet and pulled out some money, tossing it on the table. "You two have dessert. Spend some time together. I have something I need to take care of."

Kurt nodded, looking up at him as he stood. "Tell Rachel we'll be late."

"Smart ass," Finn said, grinning.


	9. Chapter 9

"Finn," Rachel said, opening the door. She looked awful; her face was swollen and puffy and her eyes were red and wet. "What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Rachel said. "You said what you had to say."

"Rachel, I didn't sleep with Quinn to hurt you."

"I know," Rachel told him, closing her eyes briefly. "Quinn told me all about it."

"You talked to Quinn?"

Rachel nodded, stepping away from the door and going to the kitchen island, pouring herself some more wine. "She came by earlier. Said she had to apologize." Rachel took a drink. "Like that makes it better," she said bitterly.

"I didn't come to fight," Finn told her. "I'm leaving in a couple of weeks, and I know that's not long enough for either of us to begin to forgive the other. What I did was horrible, but I still have a hole in my heart from seeing you with another guy."

"I didn't sleep with him!" Rachel cried. She sat down on the chair. "But I might have," she admitted, her face falling. "I don't know what I was doing."

"We're young, Rachel. I finally understand what everyone was saying when we were thinking about getting married. We still don't even know who we are."

"But I love you," she said quietly. "I know that. I was just lonely and confused…"

"And I'm leaving again," he told her. "It'll be the same thing. You don't just get out of the Army, Rach. Once you sign up, you're in there until you're done."

"I know that, but if I could have just talked to you, if you'd just written me a letter…"

"You'd still be lonely," he told her. "And there would still be guys like Brody." He made a face. "He seems like a douche, by the way."

"Well, now he's a douche with a broken nose."

"Good," Finn said, grinning in satisfaction.

Rachel rolled her eyes. She watched him for a moment. "I don't think I can ever forgive you," she told him sadly. "I don't know if I can ever forgive myself."

"I don't want to leave New York with us not at least being friends, Rachel," he told her.

"Sometimes you can't be friends," she told him. She rubbed her face. "Look, go back to your hotel. We'll think about it, okay?"

Finn nodded. "Okay. Goodnight, Rachel."

"Goodnight," she said. When he reached the door, she said, "If I had just waited one more day, none of this would have happened."

Finn could hear the pain in her voice. "What's that saying? If you love something, you set it free. If it comes back, it's yours." He looked at her. "We're just setting each other free. For real this time."

"Do you think we'll ever find out way back to each other?"

"I wouldn't count us out," he said.

Rachel nodded, watching him walk out the door. She loved him, but he was right; they hadn't been ready. She only hoped that one day they would be.


	10. Chapter 10

"Daddy, daddy!" the little girl cried, running down the hall toward him.

"Hey!" he said, lifting her up, kissing her. "Did you miss me today?"

"I did!" the little girl said, her brown eyes wide. "Mama missed you too."

"Have you been good for your mama today?"

"Yes sir, I've been so good today!" she said, smiling. "You can ask mama!"

"I'll do that," he said, putting her down. He laughed as she ran down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Hey baby," Finn said, walking into the room to find her cutting up vegetables at the sink. He bent down, kissing her. "Miss Emma tells me that she's been good today."

"She has," Rachel told him, grinning.

"She said you two missed me today."

Rachel nodded, putting the potato she was peeling down and turning to face him. "She was right about that too," she told him, wrapping her arms around him.

"And what about Finn Jr?" Finn asked, nodding towards Rachel's very pregnant belly. "Did he miss me?"

"Of course," Rachel said. "But we've discussed this Finn Jr. thing."

"It's such a good name, though," Finn said, smiling down at her.

"I love you," Rachel told him. "I love you more now than I ever have. But we are not naming our son Finn Jr. Or Puck!"

"You're breaking my heart," he told her, pretending to pout.

"I can fix that," she said, stretching to kiss him again.

"Kurt and Blaine coming over?" he asked as she pulled away. Rachel nodded. "Good. I got a baseball glove for Max."

Max was Kurt and Blaine's adopted son, and Emma's best friend in the world. It made Rachel happy to think that her little girl would always have a friend like Kurt had been to her and Finn.

Finn went to wash his hands, stopping by a picture hanging in the hallway. It was a picture of him and Rachel that Kurt had taken at the airport; she had her arms wrapped around him and was kissing him as if she'd never see him again. Finn had been worried she wouldn't. They hadn't talked after he'd left her apartment, and he thought she'd made up her mind. When she'd called to him at the airport, he felt like his life had meaning again.

She'd run to him, jumping into his arms, her lips catching his. "I still haven't forgiven you," she said. "But you can't leave without knowing that I love you."

"I love you too," he said, looking down into her eyes.

"Even though we're not together…I thought we could try this friend thing."

Finn nodded. "I can do that."

"And if you want to date, you can. And if I want to date, I will."

Finn nodded again. "Okay. Friends." He kissed her again. "I love you," he told her.

And with that unlikely friendship started, they'd been able to work it out. Though both had been given their freedom, they'd not needed it. Finn had stayed true to Rachel, even though she wasn't really his. Rachel had done the same. And when he was finally out of the Army, they'd decided to stop acting like idiots and call what they had what it was: love.

"Daddy, hurry," Emma called. "They'll be here any minute!"

Finn smiled. He'd done some pretty stupid things in his life, but somehow…well, somehow it had all worked out anyway.


End file.
